heyhey. today passed rather quickly as i spent almost e whole day with him at his house. met him at cj's bus stop at 12plus and headed to CP to get our shoe bags! yeahh mine's the blueee one. his's grey in colour. same design though. but STILL. i'm not happy. =( sighh. oh wells. he doesn't like it. i can't force anything.
and yes yes! smth really niceeee made my day today. when he alighted from the bus, he asked if it was too late to join canoe. and i was so surprised, wondering what it was with canoe suddenly. and he said he thought of joining canoe with me if it was possible. of coz it's possible!! =) wheee. i was on cloud nine as i was really glad tt he thought of joining canoe with me. however, i guess i was thinking too much agn. he wanted to train up his biceps and six pack and be able to show off show off his strong bod in future. =D haha. in any case, i'll be there to push you on during training yea! just hope tt the tch would take us in for the one-star course and tt it's not too late... sighh.
so yupps. anw, went to his house and started mugging. arghh. had so much trouble with binomial. boooo. i'm jus so lousy at it! but at least had him to consult. much clearer now. it helped. thanks. and after a while, farhan msged, asking to meet up to catch up and stuff. i agreed initially, thinking tt it wouldn't bother him or... i dunno what i was doing also. i preferred to stay and spend e whole day with him rather than go out with someone else of coz, but i agreed anw. blehh. so in the end when i told him abt it, he seemed quite disturbed by it. i'm sorry. sighh. shldn't have agreed to go in the first place. so i cancelled the meeting up and stayed on with him.(: after mugging for what seemed like decades, we settled to watch a movie! haha. it was really scary and some parts, gruesome. but overall, it was quite nice. at least debbie didn't fall asleep. hehe. but yeahh. it's abt this father and his family and medicine company. i found the part when the lil daughter told her dad abt her mum committing suicide and only being able to see her when candles are lit. oh my. i almost teared. a lil girl, left all alone in this world. sighh. you never know who'll leave you the nx moment. dunno why. i jus felt tt way outta the sudden...
hmm.after the show, we jus lay there slacking for the next hour. his mum came back then. he was reading his magazine while i was there rolling on the bed. lol. felt so restless but it felt so right jus being nx to him. :) i wished time wouldn't pass so fast then. one thing happened tt made me smile- we were lying there, facing each other in e opposite direction and he whispered 'iloveyou' to me. :)) wheee. i was so happy inside. jus at tt moment, his mum called for him. honestly, i dunno how to feel, whether i'm being fooled agn. i dunno how to feel. i'm afraid.

so at 6plus, i went home and on the way, i was really tired and fell aslp on the train agn. was extremely exhausted can. could hardly walk properly and open my eyes. arghh. den on the train, smth really funny happened.haha. there was a couple who was seated in front of me and the guy was like doing some retarded action and i mean it. ya know, those kinda actions which you show lil kids. haha! so i was like smirking in front of him, thinking tt they didn't notice it or smth. but unfortunately, the lady saw me and whispered smth to him. and instead of feeling embarassed, he continued doing more silly actions and this time, to me! oh mann. and they were like 'communicating' with me. gawd. it was so hilarious. i felt kinda embarassed. =X

when i reached home, all my aunties and cousins were there. so noisy but boistered with life. whooo. and as usual, isaac was using e com and playing with my cousins. after dinner, i went to my bedroom and jus sat there and STONE. dunno what was wrong with me. think i jus felt really tired and needed some time to myself, after so long. was smsing him but fell aslp. i woke up with yongchang calling me to inform me tt there's gonna be an online meeting tmr at 9am. arghh. of all days. and i can't meet him tmr morning for a swim... =( so jus hafta stay home i guess. but it's okie. will be meeting weehoe and gang tmr at KAP for a gp study session!

mumi jus showed me 2 phone models which i'll be considering. it's either nokia 6280 or SE K608i. both are jus as nice. but SE is rather plain. only available in black. and i can't flip or slide it! =( not sure abt which to choose. gotta make my choice by tmr. coz mumi will be buying it online. help me!

alritey. bedtime now. feeling a lil hungry actually. =X shall update soon!
nitey and sweet dreams dear diary. :)
___________________________________

but i've tried so hard to tell myself that
you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

Look me in the eye, and tell me that you're happy now.