and oh.
smth tt i wanted to share.
was studying at the library today at the first level near the children's section
and as usual,
little kids were jumping and running about and laughing ever so innocently
and there was this particular lil boy whose eyes are so small (and so chubby dubby i tell you!)
so yeah he was giggling and talking rather loudly with excitement when his mum shush-ed him and said even louder in a seemingly strict tone,

"don't talk so loudly arh. later the man call the police catch you go to jail."

then both me and my fren started laughing though had to stifle it. but it was funny!
like thinking this's the way we were told when we were young.
ahhh, the innocence of lil children.

it's only recently that i realised i'm still learning. learning to see things and matters in a more mature perspective as i grow. and after everything that has happened, comprehension dawned on me... that sometimes, i can't expect everything to be spelled out and laid nicely in front of me. that i've to see things beyond what is said and shown. but sometimes, so many possibilities come to me that i start to get frightened. and that's when fear encapsulates me.
i don't know what i'm so afraid of. maybe the future. or perhaps the present. afraid that things would take a turn for the worst with every second that passes. i need security. i need assurance. i need to find the courage and faith tt i had. and just when i thought i did, i was wrong.

THERE. Finally. i got it out.

i wanna be happy.
knowing that you are makes me.
but i guess it doesn't matter at all.
and i've no idea what i'm ranting on about anw.
bye.